I could go anywhere but back. I drove recklessly with no particular destination in mind, plowing forward, unaware of anything around me. Everything once in a while, I had an urge to jerk the wheel quickly to the right, running the car off the road, or sharply to the left and plow across the median and "accidentally" forfiet myself to the home-bound rush-hour taffic. The effects from the outcomes of the decisions I was responsible for making weighed heavily. scenario I : would find myself, learn how to fulfill my potential as long distance mother. I would likely never feel certain I had made the right choice to disturb our family ecosystem so as to allow for the hope of peace and growth. div> i had no planned direction to travel in besides "AWAY". I continued on at a barely-legal speed, my vision blurred by the flood of tears I could not control. I tried to focus on- but also forget abouy- every inch I put between myself and the heart-crumbling scene I wit
Rock bottom. Rock bottom is a place or event in a person's life that is inevitable. At some point it will come about and like getting the chicken pox, once it happens, you're in the clear for the rest of your life experience. Rock. Fucking. Bottom. Been there, done that, got the t shirt. Right? My face was numb, and I was glad the repetitive cheese-grater effect the asphalt had on my cheek was no longer painful. I stared past the assorted tires lined up in the parking lot of shadows and streetlights fighting for dominance. Wishing my entire body would quickly follow suit and perhaps even somehow find a way to stop my involuntary breath or heartbeat, I continued to feel the burning and ripping sensations of being forcibly entered over and over. Hands were everywhere all at once. They pressed into my shoulders and back, crushing me under the weight of their owners, they pulled at my hair, gripped my ankles, and clawed at my skin. Every once in a while, I could s